Setting up a support group for parents

• What parenting support groups aim to do
• Values
• Parents and carers
• Costs
• Venues
• Facilitators
• Resources
• Recruitment
• Welcome and introductions
• Groups can be different
• Groundrules
• Additional support
• Evaluation
• Contact details

What parenting support groups aim to do

All parents want to do the best for their children and at some point in every parents life there may be a time when advice, information and support may be welcome. The opportunity to meet and talk with other parents in a group situation can help to make the job of being a parent easier.

Parenting is arguably the most difficult and important job in the world, but one for which people are often least prepared and supported.

Values

• raise awareness about family issues
• promote a healthy relationship between parents and their children
• improve communication skills, i.e. listening and assertiveness
• support parents with parenting issues which concern them
• build self esteem - parents need to feel valued if they are to value their children
• recognise that parents may need opportunities to talk about how they are feeling
• support parents in encouraging their children to say how they are feeling
• improve the quality of family life by helping parents support their children
• enhance parents' skills

Parents and carers

By "parents" we mean anyone in the role of caring for children. This includes mothers, fathers, step-parents, lone parents, parents who don't live with their children, grandparents, other family members and both adoptive and foster parents.

There is no one right way to be a parent. What matters most is the love and care parents give to their children. All families are different with their own way of doing things. There are many different cultures, each with their own beliefs about bringing up children.

Parents usually know their children better than anyone else. They understand their own culture and the community where they live. Facilitated sensitively, Parenting Support Groups can help families decide what works best for them.

The way in which parents were brought up themselves can often affect the way they bring up their own children. Parenting Support Groups, sensitively facilitated, can help parents think about who or what helped to shape their lives and how they might make changes if they want to. However, it is important at all times to bear in mind that these are not counselling sessions, they are support groups for parents.

Costs

Setting up a Parenting Support Group will incur some costs and these need to be considered. Costs will vary depending upon individual circumstances. Materials, venue and time commitment all have to be taken into consideration.

The major expenditure is the time of the facilitators. To provide a group which runs for 2 hours, the minimum time needed will be 4 hours. This allows for 1 hours planning and setting up time before the group commences and 1 hour afterwards to de-brief and prepare for the following week.

Childcare, if offered, is another consideration. The cost of employing a suitable créche worker should be considered.

There is also the cost of training for facilitators to be taken into account.

Venue

The venue needs to be accessible, preferably on a bus route and facilitators should bear in mind the access needs of people with a disability. Parents should be offered a welcoming environment which offers some privacy to ensure confidentiality.

If childcare is offered, it should be near or adjoining the group venue to ensure parents feel relaxed about the care of their children.

Wherever the venue is, it should be prepared carefully before the parents arrive. The room should be comfortably warm with chairs arranged appropriately. Refreshments (cake, chocolate and fruit are popular) should always be provided and parents encouraged to accept them. Flowers, scented oils and background music have proved to be beneficial in helping parents to relax. These small additions help make parents feel valued.

Facilitators should ensure that all materials are prepared in advance and that all equipment (flip charts, video's, TV's etc) are in place. Any handouts should be presented on good quality paper (preferably in a variety of colours). It is a good idea to provide each parent with a file to keep their handouts it, with felt tips pens and stickers provided for parents to personalize them with.

Thought needs to be given to the timetabling of groups so that they fit in with both school and family life. It is important that every session runs on the same day, at the same time and at the same place.

Facilitators

The combination of facilitators should ideally reflect the make up of the group and should take into account factors such as gender and culture. Kirklees Parenting Support Forum recommends that there should be a minimum of two facilitators for parenting groups.

Facilitators should have undertaken some training in facilitating group work with parents. They should also have made themselves familiar with a range of parenting resources.

They should allow time before each session for joint preparation and after each session in order to de-brief and evaluate.

Facilitators themselves need support and ideally this should be provided within the individual workplace. In addition to this Kirklees Parenting Support Forum run bi-monthly Facilitator Support Groups for facilitators of Parenting Support Group throughout Kirklees.

Parents need to feel valued and supported throughout the group. Facilitators need to provide participants with good role models who have a non-judgmental attitude, listen, are supportive and nurturing and intervene when necessary - all the qualities that we wish to promote for positive parenting. The relationship between the facilitators and the parents will be essential to the success of the group and it is essential that facilitators understand the impact they can have within the group and ensure that they use this effectively.

As well as giving input, facilitators will be helping parents to learn from and to support each other in the group as well as with their children at home. A great deal of learning takes place during discussion and at the heart of group work is the opportunity for parents to talk about their experiences and to support each other.

A facilitative and enabling style is recommended. This means listening to the views of parents, acknowledging their feelings and valuing the experiences they share. It does not mean telling them what they should be doing or trying to sort out their problems for them. Facilitators are demonstrating the attitudes and skills which they are encouraging parents to adopt and this is best done firmly and gently, keeping a balance of lightness whilst using humour when appropriate - fun and enjoyment are an essential element of parenting groups.

Resources

There are a wide range of parenting programmes and other parenting resources available.

It is vital that facilitators choose materials which they feel comfortable and confident with and that consideration is given to who the group is for and what the aims and objectives of those parents are.

It is important that facilitators make themselves aware of the cultural diversity within the group and make this a consideration when planning.

Allow time at the end of each session for parents to say what they did and didn't find useful.

Allow time at the beginning of each session for parents to say how things have gone during the previous week. You could ask such questions as: What worked? What was a struggle? What else could you try? What would help? How did other members of the family respond?

Recruitment

Flyers, posters and invitations are all methods of recruitment. These need to be brief, attractively presented with a name and phone number to obtain further information.

However, experience tells us that the most successful recruitment takes place through face to face contact and by word of mouth.

Introductory visits to families may be undertaken by group facilitators prior to the course beginning. An alternative to this is to hold a coffee morning where the facilitators can introduce themselves in an informal atmosphere and outline the aims of the course.

Welcome and introductions

Many parents attending the group will be anxious about being there. Facilitators should welcome parents individually as they arrive, introduce them to each other and offer refreshments. Stickers and felt tips to personalize a name label gives people something to do and provides a talking point. It is important to allow time during the first session to introduce and welcome everyone, both individually and as a group.

When everyone has arrived make sure you tell the group where the toilet, fire exit and smoking area is. It is important to agree break times and to give an idea of what the session will include. Remember - this may be a difficult situation for many parents and they will need you to be supportive.

A good starting point may be to take feedback on what parents hope's and fear's about the course are and to list their expectations on a flip chart. This is also useful to refer to when you evaluate the course.

• you don't expect them to be perfect parents - there isn't just one right way - everyone is different
• remind them of all the skills they have already
• parents should only share what they feel comfortable sharing

Groups can be different

Different people have different needs and it is important to acknowledge the culture and context of the group. There may be needs and issues specific to individual groups and it is important that you negotiate with the group about how these are addressed. Particular group needs may have been identified prior to the course beginning. However, they may not become fully apparent until you start discussing hopes and fears and ground rules.

Individual needs should also be identified and heard. It is important to have realistic expectations of parents and to encourage them to progress at their own pace, offering guidance and encouragement when necessary.

There are lots of different styles of learning and different people learn in different ways. Some people learn through discussion, some through reading, some through role play. Trying new ways and making mistakes are part of the process, but if people are worried about not getting it right they may give up. It is important to remind parents of all the successful things they already do and of all the skills they already have. Much of the group work is likely to centre around discussion.

But every group is different. Although "parenting programmes" (see RESOURCES) often suggest that some of the activities are done in pairs or small groups, some groups prefer to stay together all the time. It is up to you as facilitator to do what is appropriate and works with the group.

Different methods and ideas work for different parents and children. There are no right or wrong answers.

Groundrules

Ask the parents what would help them feel safe in the group. Write their ideas onto a flip chart and this will give the basis for many of the groundrules. Remember that this may be the first time they have been asked to do this and you may need to prompt and encourage.

• accepting differences
• no pressure to speak
• listening
• confidentiality
• being able to add new ground rules at a later session

When discussing confidentiality, facilitators must make it clear that any child protection concerns must be passed to Children and Young People's Service. Facilitators should speak privately to the parent concerned and explain why they must do this.

As facilitator you need to be aware of child protection guidelines. These should be available from your local Area Child Protection Committee.

Remember that, for many parents, this will be the first time they have been in a group situation since leaving school.

Additional support

Some of the topics covered in parenting programmes (see Resources) may give rise to serious and painful issues for participants. Parents may be dealing with all kinds of situations and may need additional support. Facilitators need to be sensitive about when to offer privacy and when to signpost parents to additional services. It is strongly advised that, when necessary, parents are referred to helplines, websites and other organisations offering support.

This will be the first time that many parents will have known that such support is available.

Facilitators should consider how families may access continued support when the group comes to an end. Experience has shown that parents often wish to continue to meet and support each other. This may or may not need facilitators but parents are likely to need help with practical issues.

Evaluation

• What did you like about the course?
• What are you leaving behind?
• What are you taking with you?

Remember to thank everyone for taking part.

Evaluating the Parenting Support Group is important. It enables workers to measure the impact and benefits for families and whether the objectives of the group have been achieved. It also allows facilitators to monitor the quality of delivery and customer satisfaction.

In order to prove that your work is having a positive effect you will probably have to keep records for both your funder and for your own organization. It can also be valuable to collect quotes and comments from group members (for example, one parent said: "I thought I was the only one in this situation.")

If you do not have evaluation forms you can use the Forum's evaluation sheet with the participants.

Kirklees Parenting Support Forum have available A Good Practice Guide which contains additional information, defines terms and outlines principles.

We hope that you enjoy running your support group for parents and carers.

Contact details

Advice and support is available from the Parenting Support Development Officers.

Maria Birch
Email: info.parentingsupport@kirklees.gov.uk
Telephone: 01924 326628