• Why do parents need to know about sexual abuse?
• Who sexually abuses children?
• What can be done to protect children?
• How can parents help to teach children to protect themselves?
• What should parents do if a child says they have been sexually abused?

Why do parents need to know about sexual abuse?

• Sexual abuse can be a difficult topic for parents to read and discuss, but it's very important that people have an understanding of child sexual abuse and what can be done to try to protect children
• Parents can do a lot to keep their children safe
• Parents need to give their children clear, accurate information about child sexual abuse
• Parents need to teach children how to protect themselves
• Parents need to know how to report suspected cases to the appropriate authorities

Who sexually abuses children?

Anyone could be a sexual abuser

• Male or female
• Young or old
• Family, friend or stranger

What can be done to protect children?

• Parents should know where their children are at all times, who they are with and what they are doing
• Parents should spend time alone with their children, take time to listen to them and be interested in what they have been doing, whenever they have been alone with babysitters or other adults
• Parents should encourage their children to talk about any problems they might have and give a sympathetic ear
• Teach children to be assertive, tell them it's all right to say no to adults if they feel uncomfortable or feel threatened
• Check children’s use of the Internet

How can parents help to teach children to protect themselves?

• Tell children not to believe strangers who claim to have been sent by their parents to pick them up or drop them off at places
• Tell children not to play in quiet areas
• If they are home alone, tell children not to open the door to people they don’t know
• Tell children not to talk to people they don’t know on the phone or to tell the person they are home alone
• Tell children not to take gifts from anyone without their parent’s permission
• Tell children never to promise to keep a secret for anyone
• Tell children always to tell their parents if anyone touches them in a way they don't like
• Teach them the difference between a good touch and a bad touch

What should parents do if a child says they have been sexually abused?

Don't deny the problem

Believe the child no matter how hard it is, or how much you like the adult or young person who is the alleged abuser.

Control your emotions

Stay calm. Too much emotion - for example, anger, fear or too much distress - are normal, but they can upset the child more. A lot of emotion, especially from parents, can make the child feel guilty about causing distress.

Give emotional support

Tell the child that they are not to blame. Give them reassurance that they are safe. Let the child ask questions and give answers in ways they understand. Do not ask the child many questions and let them tell their story in their own words. Detailed questioning is better left to the police and social services  who have been specially trained in asking questions.

Contact the appropriate services

People should contact social services, or the police, to deal with allegations of sexual abuse.
More information on reporting the abuse

The Kirklees Rape & Sexual Abuse Counselling Centre runs a telephone helpline, offering support on issues of sexual abuse and rape against women and girls. 

The STAR project, surviving trauma after rape, is a free support service for females and males aged 14 and over.  The service offers counselling, emotional and practical support throughout West Yorkshire.  The helpline number is 01924 298954.
Kirklees Asian Family Advice Service offers counselling and support for Asian family members experiencing family problems.  Telephone 01924 400707. 

NSPCC information guide for parents and carers